So, how was your year? Mine was interesting.

Okay, now that we're all caught up - let us ponder the intrinsic meaning of numbers. It seems that every person has an associated value with particular number. For example, 58 can seem to be a much higher number than 60. And 38 can be 40. Now that I'm 38 years old (2 weeks tomorrow) I feel that some invisible boundary has been crossed. I feel I have earned the right to say - enough. Enough pretending i can be all things to all people; enough pretending I can do it all; enough believing I can meet every need another person brings before me and still maintain a state of physical/mental/spiritual and emotional health for myself. I'm done.

Now, when I was 37 I was riddled with doubt, confusion, and feelings of inadequacy. I'm so much more mature now. But somehow 37 freaked me out. For the first time in my life I was uncomfortable, even afraid of, my age. I was almost 40. How could I be almost 40 and still feel so inadequate? Immature? Still trying to please everyone? Still looking for someone else to tell me I was enough - smart enough, talented enough, brave enough. As my birthday loomed closer I started thinking about what bothered me about turning 38. It was being almost 40 - and feeling the obvious discrepancy between how long I've been living this life and how little I've accomplished. But I knew it was coming and I'd better find a way to reconcile with it. My new favorite magazine is entitled More, and it is all about and aimed at women over 40. It seems I'm not alone. Many women feel that they didn't really enter into their lives with confidence and peace until well into their 40's or even 50's. As Megan Mullaly said, "I had the same talent in my 20's, I just didn't believe in it.". So I decided - my 40's are here, what am I going to do with them? And I am experiencing a great sense of freedom and empowerment with this acceptance.

So, I'm done. How do you decide what you should do? Look at what needs to be done, at who could get it done, and do what you want to do. Now that, my friends, is radical.