Though I am not actually part of such a study, I feel I should be. I, in fact, feel I should be the focus of such a study. I seem to be shipwrecked in a concurrent dimension of reality, somehow straddling two realities. I am physically present in this one, but part of me is most definitely not here. I think some day this will become an important phenomena for someone to look at and so I've decided (at least for now) to chronicle this parallel existance. (Or maybe I am really, really stretched for something that will lend a sense of purpose to my days.)
Today I had 5 hours without children. I sat and stared (a lot, don't underestimate this), I wrestled with several schemes involving pop-tarts and chocolate, I read a 200 page magazine cover to cover, I napped, I put a couple of things away, I turned on my computer and read my email. Then I woke up. I had been trapped all day in this fog of boredom that I absolutely could not penetrate. I read an email that broke the boredom barrier and suddenly mind and body reunited and I became fully present in one dimension again. I don't now how long this unity will last or, more importantly, how to make this connection stable (kinda liking the Star Trek-wormhole analogy here). I wonder if I'm bored because my mind drifts off into another dimension or if it is the boredom itself that creates the schism.
I really don't tolerate boredom well. I wonder how many of my meds are made necessary by this extreme boredom. I know I sound like a pill popper, so there aren't that many, but for someone who didn't like to take tylenol, it feels like a lot. I did forget to take my ADD meds today, and that always leads to a lot of drifting in space.
So, tomorrow I will attempt to chronicle the experiences of an apparently-not-yet-middle-aged but hormonally challenged, attention deficit, artistically tempered, bi-polar semi-genius.
