Okay, okay, okay! Goodness. What's all the fuss people? Actually I went back and read my previous entries and quite enjoyed them. I can see why you are all whining all the time for me to get blogging. (tee heee, I crack me up) Okay, so does everyone know - i have ADD. That isn't an award for basic math achievement, that is, indeed, Attention Deficit Disorder. K? All on the same page? Good. Really I don't see how anybody could understand a word I write without knowing that. But besides that, it is and has been the thorn in my flesh digging deeper, and deeper, through layer after layer of emotional flesh until I am ready to rip open my chest cavity to be free of it. But don't worry - I'm still fightin' the good fight and all that ... whatever.

I have talked about this A LOT with friends, hubby, shrinky - but it occurred to me that I sometimes feel I can't blog because I can't possibly explain it to everyone else. But I guess I don't have to. You all can research ADD if it so interests you, this is just so you know what the heck I'm talking about if I mention something relating in passing. I am quite good at math, so it isn't so far fetched to think of possibly being misinterpreted in that way... FOCUS! Just got slap myself out of it at times.

Anyway, I am inching my way through the excruciating process of building my own external structure. It is killing me. I am dying here. I am losing my mind, falling off the razor's edge, all out of metaphors, but - heehhh? Ya know? Sometimes all I can think is - aaaaaaaaaaaarghhhh! AAARRRRRHGHGH!!!!!! Aargh. I gotta go. My computer is being really stupid and slow. My husband is calling me from downstairs though he knows I can in no way hear or interpret his words. Why does he keep talking? My littlest is trying to make the expensive four lb. highly breakable music box work. i gotta go.