Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Jenea's exciting revelation
Making supper today my 3 1/2 year old suddenly yells from the bathroom - Moooooooom!!!!! My breasts are growing!!!
Monday, November 12, 2007
stay-at-home mom mistaken for homeless person
Seriously, has this ever happened to any of you? Have you ever run out of deodorant and actually just not bothered to buy any more? Today as I'm reaching up to put away the dishes I realize - I smell. I can actually smell myself. Gross! How did I get to this place where running out of deodorant is no longer condidered a state of personal emergency?
Next time you're talking to a young SAHM, compassionately listening, and she says (hypothetically) "why do we need to wear makeup everyday? who sees us anyway? maybe it's no big deal."; you need to immediately take her by the arm (forcefully), sit her down and tell her this story.
This is a path you do not want to go down. Listen to me!! First you're looking a bit pale, and the next thing you know people are moving to the back of the bus when you take your seat! Just say no, women (and possibly men as well). It sounds good - no putting your make-up on while driving, no poking mascara wands in your eye as your 2 year old repeatedly tries to jump on your back, no going to Safeway with a 4 year hootchie who's more made-up than you are! But it leads to ruin. Next go the daily showers. You think - how dirty can I get in a day? My kids only bathe a couple times a week and they seem clean enough. Then you're taking the kids to school (and yes, actually entering the building) with 2 day old bedhead because you convince yourself that you are going to the gym after you drop them off so why shower twice? And, ultimately, you no longer bother to make an extra trip to the grocery store for personal hygiene products. For milk you leave the house before dawn if there's not enough to cover 3 bowls of porridge, but if you are haggard, unwashed, and ultimately - bra-less.... - pardon? me? no, I don't need anything. I'm fine. Really.
Oh, the horror. The horror.
Next time you're talking to a young SAHM, compassionately listening, and she says (hypothetically) "why do we need to wear makeup everyday? who sees us anyway? maybe it's no big deal."; you need to immediately take her by the arm (forcefully), sit her down and tell her this story.
This is a path you do not want to go down. Listen to me!! First you're looking a bit pale, and the next thing you know people are moving to the back of the bus when you take your seat! Just say no, women (and possibly men as well). It sounds good - no putting your make-up on while driving, no poking mascara wands in your eye as your 2 year old repeatedly tries to jump on your back, no going to Safeway with a 4 year hootchie who's more made-up than you are! But it leads to ruin. Next go the daily showers. You think - how dirty can I get in a day? My kids only bathe a couple times a week and they seem clean enough. Then you're taking the kids to school (and yes, actually entering the building) with 2 day old bedhead because you convince yourself that you are going to the gym after you drop them off so why shower twice? And, ultimately, you no longer bother to make an extra trip to the grocery store for personal hygiene products. For milk you leave the house before dawn if there's not enough to cover 3 bowls of porridge, but if you are haggard, unwashed, and ultimately - bra-less.... - pardon? me? no, I don't need anything. I'm fine. Really.
Oh, the horror. The horror.
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